jay-zzzzzz

dreams

"I dreamed a dream last night, that dreamers often lie" (shakespear)

1984

wow this book really sucks, but i won't judge it by it's first three pages

foregive and forget

the person who put forgive and forget together didn't know the true meaning of those words, because you can never forgive, without forgetting, or you may forgive but never forget

have you

have you ever felt like your whole presence was a joke
have you ever walked into a room and felt naked
have you ever told the truth but felt like it was a lie
have you ever touched the sky, but never saw the stars
have you ever dreamed a dream that was a nightmare
have you ever had a nightmare that was a dream
have you gone around the world, but came back to the exact spot you first started
have you gone to search for the truth and found out it wasn't exactly as you thought
have you ever gave with get something in return
or have you been given yet have returned the favour
do you smile at every body you see
do they smile back at you
do you know the meaning of your life
do you know the meaning of your love
do you know the meaning of every heart beat
do you know the meaning of every facial expression
do you
have you

to be

To be or not to be may be the question
but being something even anything is the true question
because as you thrifth lower and lower in an esteem of self
you ask yourself what or who you really are

Lost

Have you ever felt like you didn't know what to do with your life. I think I am having a mid life crisis eventhough i am not even in my mid life yet. Since i was eight i always wanted to become a writer. Since the first day i read my first book i wanted to figure out the magic of the words. I am in my second year of high school and it seems like everyone is sure of themselves like they know what they're going to do with their lives, but me myself i am extremely lost. Today was horrible for me I got a 51% in biology and it didn't matter that i got a 90% in english, because that fucking mark drops the rest of my marks. My parents would freak out if i told them that i wasn't going to university, because that defines me as a person to them. For my mother education is like a status symbol, which i choose not to be part of, but for my father education is power. when i was little he would tell me the story of how he got to the position he is in right now. when he was 6 years old his mother died and his father remarried quickly. His step mother was truly WICKED. She didn't want him to succeed, so she would only be nice to him when his father was around, but would abonden him when he left. When he was 7 years he taught himself how to dress, cook, and go to school by himself. My father is my biggest inspiration in life, because when i look into his eyes i know i can make it.

my Idols

here are a few ppl i admire.

Immigration

Like most people who in my country, my parents were immigrants when they came here. Like most immigrant parents they still haven't got the concept that my culture and their culture isn't the same. They expect me to be exactly like them, and that isn't happening any time. I hate how my mom always things that she knows everything that is going on in my life. My mom is so afraid of this new culture that she feels like she has to protect us from us. if she doesn't know what we are doing it basically means that we are doing something wrong. Like most immigrant parents anything that they don't understand basically means that we can't get involved in. I remeber that when i was in the fifth grade i had to go to camp, and my mother fought the school for 2 months trying to persue them not to take me to go on the trip. I wish that one day they are able to let me go so that i could become my own person you know.

Hello world

Okay this is my first posting of my blog. Ahhh... I don't have much to say.