Jay-z

This Can't Be Life Lyrics
(feat. Beanie Sigel, Scarface)[Jay-Z]Geah.. whassup?Where's all my street niggaz, project niggazReal niggaz, worldwideLet's reflect.. e'rybody got a storyWe all ghetto B - here's mine GeahSee I was -- born in sewage, born to make bomb musicFlow tight like I was born JewishUsed the streets as a conduit - I kept arms 38 longs inside my mom's BuickAt any given moment Shawn could lose it, be on the newsIron cuffs - arms through it; or stuffed with embalmin fluidShit, I'm goin through it - mom dukes tooTears streamin down her pretty face, she got her palms to itMy life is gettin too wildI need to bring some sort kinda calm to itBout to lose it; voices screamin "Don't do it!"It's like '93, '94, bout the year that Big and Mag dropped; and "Illmatic" rocked outta every rag drop, and the West had it lockedEverybody doin 'em, I'm still scratchin on the blocklike "Damn; I'ma be a failure"Surrounded by thugs, drugs, and drug - paraphenaliaCops courts, and their thoughts is to derail usThree time felons in shorts with jealous thoughtsTryin figure where your mail is, guesstimate the weight you sellinSo they can send shots straight to your melon; wait!It gets worse, baby momma water burstBaby came out stillborn, still I gotta move onThough my heart still torn, life gone from her wombDon't worry, if it was meant to be, it'll be -- soon[Chorus: Jay-Z]This can't be life, this can't be loveThis can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be usThis can't be life, this can't be loveThis can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us[Beanie Sigel]Chill dogSecond oldest born, from Michelle Brown my motherHell bound, grew with two sisters and one brotherPop wasn't around, so many stories that's anotherI'm thinkin damn; how my older sister gon' make me tougherWhen steel sharpens steel, I'ma keep it realI'm tired of tryin to hide my pain behind the syrups and pillsDead to the world, stretched out like a corpse for realY'all niggaz thinkin what y'all readin in The Source is realWhat my life like, you lookin at the source, it's realWhat your life like? Mine dog, of course it's realPassin judgment, you niggaz second-guessin BeansCause you don't eat swine don't make you AminDog you know a couple suras, out the Qur'anI guess you all on your din and I ain't on mineStop that Akki, 'fore I send shots though your bodyMake 'em feel feel hell on earth before Allah drop theeI feel the line's drawn here, nuttin more can stop meTill them feds pick me up, or them boys pop meThere's only three things that make Mac not act like BeansAmatullah Tisha, Po Aldin, Samir AminMy seeds dog, gotta teach 'em that before I leave dogShit I know that I'ma see 'em when I leave dogI come back in the afterlifeLike fuck it I done touched hell twice; what's the meanin?[Chorus][Scarface]Yeah.. uhh..Now as I walk into the studio, to do this with Jig'I got a phone call from one of my nigsSaid my homeboy Reek, he just lost one of his kidsAnd when I heard that I just broke into tearsAnd see in the second hand; you don't really know how this isBut when it hits that close to home you feel the pain at the cribSo I called mine, and saddened my wife with the bad newsNow we both depressed, countin our blessings cause Brad's twoPrayin for young souls to laugh atlife through the starsLovin your kids just like you was oursAnd I'm hurtin for you dog; but ain't nobody pain is like yoursI just know that heaven'll open these doorsAnd ain't no bright side to losin lifel; but you can view it like this God's got open hands homey, he in the midst.. of good companyWho loves all and hates not oneAnd one day you gon' be wit your sonI could've rapped about my hard times on this songBut heaven knows I woulda been wrongI wouldn'ta been right, it wouldn'ta been love It wouldn'ta been life, it wouldn'ta been usThis can't be life[Chorus][Jay-Z]This can't be life..

Fall on your knees

This is one of the most beautiful books I've eva read. It's about life and caring about what people think of you for a very long, but not caring at the end.

Weight

I gained a little weight and every person on earth is calling me fat. Especially dat b***h who lives with me. No, not ma mama, but the other one. I hope she gets balimia or something from all her dieting. I am like only 130 and I am extremely tall so I don't know how I'm fat. Why Is this world so obessed with weight god, what do they want me to be like a size 0.

Memories

why is it that I remember the horrible parts of my life but not the happy good parts
why is it that I remember all the embarrassing things that I wish to forget but that never happens

Photograph

I saw your photograph today
and this feeling came over me
I wanted to cry
I wondered why you don't tell me you love everyday
is it that you aren't here or what
I lay down on my bed and looked at every crease of your face
you are old I noticed
but how did you get so old
why don't I spend more time with you
I miss
do you miss me
as I grow older and you grow older
I am afraid that there will come a day when we have nothing to talk about
I love you cause your blood runs through my veins
it gives me life and helps me live but it also circulates your cholesterol
letting me know of your strenghts and weaknesses
i love, but wish that you would tell me that you love me more often
i am you in many ways, but in a girl form and cuter

easier

it's easier to say that you know how to do something then it is to say that you don't

tears

do you remember the day that you hurt me
as your words came together to form negativity
a thick digusting feeling filled the pit of my stomach
it traveled up to my heart and stopped it for a moment
then it went up to my eyes and made it water
a perfect tear drop formed and came to the tip of my eye
then as if it was chorecraphed it fell
down to my perfect cheek bone to my mouth
it entered my partly opened mouth to make a taste
it was salty

dreams

many are afraid to dream big
but i dream big but don't believe that i can achieve my big dreams
one day i dream of being a writter
while the other i am a politician
i dream that i am the biggest actor on earth while everyone looks at me
i dream of being a singer and telling my life story with my voice
i dream of being a violenist and playing to those strings and making them come to life
i dream big dreams, but the question is can i achieve it

They say

They say respect your elders, but i say i need respect first to give respect. They say that respect is not a mutual thing most of the time.

10 things i might die from

1. cholesterol
2. heart disease
3. colon cancer
4. lung cancer
5. breast cancer
6. uterus cancer
7. skin cancer
8. eye cancer (i don't think there is such a thing)
9. brain cancer
10. getting hit by a car

Trying to cook

Yes i am finally going to learn how to cook.

Lasagna


INGREDIENTS:
1 (16 ounce) package lasagna noodles
1 pound ground beef
1 onion, chopped
salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
4 cups ricotta cheese
1 cup grated Romano cheese
2 1/2 cups spaghetti sauce
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
2 medium zucchini, sliced
1 cup fresh basil leaves
DIRECTIONS:
Bring a large pot of water to a rapid boil. Boil lasagna noodles 6 to 8 minutes until al dente. Drain and rinse with cold water. Lay noodles flat and remove excess water with a paper towel.
In a skillet, brown the ground beef over medium-high heat. Add onion, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning. Cook until there is no remaining pink color in beef. Drain any liquids and set aside.
In a large bowl, mix together ricotta cheese, Romano cheese, 2 cups of the spaghetti sauce and the seasoned ground beef. Mix until well blended. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Add a thin layer of spaghetti sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Add a layer of noodles lengthwise and a few noodles in the opposite direction. Pour in a generous layer of ricotta mixture on top of noodles. Top ricotta layer with several basil leaves. Add another layer of noodles lengthwise. Spread on 1 cup of the mozzarella cheese. Line up the zucchini slices on top of the mozzarella cheese. Add another thin layer of ricotta cheese. Add the last layer of noodles lengthwise. Top the noodles with the remaining spaghetti sauce, several more basil leaves in an eye catching arrangement and top with the remaining 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese.
Bake in a preheated oven for 50 to 55 minutes. If Mozzarella cheese becomes too browned, loosely cover with a piece of foil.

New book

Goals for life!

I decided to start of list of goals for myself, and every week i will add atleast one goal.

1. Stop lying (all forms)
2. Learn how to spell
3. Find friends that will have meaning conversations, that don't include the color of fur in their coats, what they had for dinner but that they can't remember, lost book that ended up in their book bag, crazy guys who hid on them, stalkers, msn stalkers, grocery store stalker (a.k.a cashier) donut shop stalker, and all the other forms of stalkers that are in the world.
4. Try to get Janny and Tony back together
5. Kick Tony's ass for dumping Janny in the first place
6. Kick the next person who i see has my name, because i am suppose to be unique
7. don't scream when ignorant people talk to you on the bus
8. Don't scream when ignorant people talk to you about your religion
9. Study for bio and get first 80% in that class
10. Stop daydreaming about the future when in class and get back to reality, because if you don't you won't any future.

to walk the walk

People who walk the walk
don't talk the talk, because
their walking says it all

Server down

I try to log on yesterday, but the server was down. I heard that there was an earthquake in Nairobi and i am just worried about family that i have there.

Hello world

hello world

Al Green + Let's stay together

Artist: Al Green LyricsSong:
Let's Stay Together Lyrics
(Let's stay together)I'm, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is alright with me'
Cause you make me feel, so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you
Me sayin' since, baby, since we've been together
Ooo, loving you foreverIs what I need
Let me, be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Ooo babyLet's, let's stay together
Loving you whether,
whetherTimes are good or bad, happy or sad
Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad
Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me(Would you baby)'
Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to
Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whetherTimes are good or bad, happy or sad
Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether

Why?

Why is it that parents lie, but punish you if you do the same thing.

Mother

Mother
you do not understand me and sometimes i feel that you nor respect me
mother
you accuse without evidence, and with evidence you don't back down in order to keep your pride
Mother
who gave me life, why is it that you can't trust
Mother
who taught me not to lie, but is a hypocrit herself
Mother
who is quick to tell her greatness, but slow to admit her faults
Mother
who doesn't want to let me go, yet wants a better life for me
Mother

Nicholas Gordon

Let me be the bandage for your bleeding;
Let me be the ocean for your tears.
Let me be the secret of your healing;
Let me be the song to still your fears.
Love isn't love that cannot love in darkness,
Nor is it love that turns away from pain;
Nor would I love would I not hold your sadnessAnd with my love your love of life sustain.
So do not think your malady a burden,
And do not think my willingness deceit.
Just let your sorrow flow into my garden
,And I will share with you the harvest sweet.

Beauty

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but what does that mean when everyone has the same idea of beauty.

The definition of Confusion

Confusion: Fathers day in harlem

Parents

90% of all parents think that they are going to be perfect parents
90% of all parents fail
10% don't know what to do and feel lost when they become parents for the first time
10% succeed, because they're not know-it-alls, they don't dictate they're children, but learn to be a parent while their children learn to live.

fashion of the week

1984 part

I finally read the whole book, and i must say i am proud of ma self. When i first started reading this book it was completely boring, but as i got into it i found out that i really liked it. Eventhough Winston (main character) was totally controlled by the government, he still fought and achieved the one thing that everyone searchs for; to be loved by someone, to have a reason to go on.

liar

No matter where you are, who you are, and what you believe, you have lied before. Even the most honest people on earth are liars. There are those who lie through their teeth, and others that glow with innocences, but lie to you as you stare at those angelic eyes. Everyone lies, because the truth is only a word that can have any definition that you want to give it. So someones truth can be your lie. Sometimes people aren't lying to other people, but themselves, because at the end of the day you are your biggest critic. It's not the next door neighbour, your boss, teacher, mother, father, friends, community, society, or significant other that is constantley kicking you for what you did, BUT YOU. It's time you face you so you can atleast stop lying to yourself, because it's sad to see you lie to others, but sadder to see you lie to yourself.

Is there such a thing as a style gene. Cauz i sure as hell don't posses it, but sometimes i can make like cool cloths inside of ma head (and no i am not CRAZY). I never was really stylish when i was young, what am i talking about i am still young.

Sam Cooke (Don't know much) lyrics

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took
But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me too
What a wonderful world this would be
Don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for.
But I do know that one and one is two,
And if this one could be with you,
What a wonderful world this would be.
Now i don't claim to be an "A" student,
But I'm trying to be.
'Coz maybe by being an "A" student baby
I can win your love for me.
Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took.
But I do know that I love you,
And I know that if you love me too,
What a wonderful world this would be.
Latatatatatatahuwaah (history)
Oehwoewoe (biology)
Latatatatatatahuwaah (science book)
Oehwoewoe (French I took)
But I do know that I love you,
And I know that if you love me too,
What a wonderful world this would be.

self actualized

Today i learned wat being self actualized mean. It means going into a room and not being afraid of who you are. And no matter what anybody says about you, you don't take anyway but then the fact that you are and will always be you and your proud of that.

Don't know much about anything right noe

Have you ever felt like you were slipping further and further into quick sand yet there was no-one to lend you their hand. Well i am like dat right noe. I am listening to Sam Cooke right now, and he's singing to me right now. He is right I don't kno much about anything right now, and i am scared of the future.